Written
Task 1
Nader
Al Ramahi
223 Huningtale Blvd.
Nashville, Tennessee
June 19, 2014
John Rose
Dear Editor,
My name is John Rose,
and I’m an International Baccalaureate DP English teacher. Throughout this
letter, I wish to be able to administer some intimate insight and perspective
on my behalf to a recent editorial that arose onto PR daily the other day about
the “4 ways texting is killing our communication skills.” I would like to
provide you with my contradicting mindset with the utmost respect and intimacy
while exhibiting reverence towards you and your coherent point of view.
First of all I fully
disagree with your first proclamation “Texting
reduces the need for in-depth conversations.” Mainly because I feel that
you wrote about the topic from one implausible issue which was “Have you ever
texted people as a form of avoidance, A few abbreviated words keep people from
meaningful dialogue and face-to-face communication.” Which as a statement is
completely illegitimate because people don’t include abbreviations only because
they intend to avoid a particular person, but instead they implement
abbreviations in their texts when they are in a hurry and want to transfer a
message to another person as quickly as possible or they would like to remain
equivalent texting at the same pace of speech, meaning that a person
abbreviates so they would be able to write just as swiftly as they would if
they were to speak, you also didn’t incorporate any other clear possible
reasons to why text speak could conceivably be a negative impact to “people’s
need for in-depth conversation.”
Your 2nd statement “texting dumbs down spelling and grammar”
in my opinion is a very imprecise and general allegation that unrightfully
places the blame on texting without the relevant research conducted and
referenced in your article. You also came up with a hasty conclusion by stating
that because we use shortcuts in spelling, punctuation, and emoticons these
factors “are giving way to generations of lazy and sloppy communicators.” I
would like of you to think of this issue in a way in which the students or
teenagers aren’t trying to avoid spelling a word incorrectly or in an
illiterate manner but instead they know that a certain part of a word contains
vowels; therefore they would not spell out the vowels. For example a student
might want to write to his/her friend: “I really enjoyed the movie today, and
because they know that the word really is spelt really they would cut the
vowels out of the word in order to keep up with the same pace of speech as I
stated in the previous paragraph. The message I’m trying to convey to you is
that if the students did not know how to spell the word in the first place they
would not know how to abbreviate it and the reason they would like to
abbreviate the word in the first place is due to the fact that these teenagers
want to maintain and equilibrium between the pace of writing and the pace of
speech.
As for the third statement “Texting distracts us
from being fully present.” I fully
agree with you because I also believe that texting most frequently causes us to
place our focus primarily on our phones which results in teens being
absent-minded and not fully aware of what’s encircling them at a particular
moment; however I don’t see how that would affect our language in any negative
way and how that “would kill our communication skills” I see this point as an
entirely irrelevant section of the article unless you have an ambiguous
interpretation that you didn’t elaborate on well enough.
Finally the 4th statement “Texting invites ambiguity” because
Nokia smartphones only allowed for 160 characters to be included in a single
text message and generally that would not assist in getting your message along
well enough and would cause disruption in the ways people might think, but
nowadays smartphones allow for unlimited character counts such as IPhones and
Samsung Galaxy smartphones which help in promoting more comprehensible messages
to abolish ambiguity between individuals who use text messaging to communicate.
In conclusion, I believe that all of your statements lack meticulous
reasoning and insufficient research backing up your proclamations and
allegations towards the negative impacts of texting and how “texting is killing
our communication skills.” I hope that throughout this letter I would have
modified and adjusted your mindset towards texting as well as its alleged and
putative accusations which I believe are highly inaccurate due to the biased majority
of adults who dislike text speak because they believe that it affects people’s
language in a negative way since that is the most logical take towards this
contentious and antagonistic topic.
Your letter presents a very strong and interesting opinion, it is well focused and well written. In order to improve, you could focus on making your sentences shorter, they are very well put together but are often very long. If they were shorter it may be easier for the reader to piece all the ideas together. Otherwise, it is a very strong task, well done!
ReplyDeleteThis is a very well crafted written task. However, the text does get confusing at parts. Remember, one of the features of letters to the editor is that they are concise. So try to condense the sentences more. Also, I don't think it would be advisable to use a higher level of vocabulary at every chance you get; instead, use it wisely. It is in the end, a letter from a teacher. You will need to include a rationale to help the examiner understand the context in which it was written, as I was very confused from the first paragraph what it was about. The task doesn't sound too essay-y which is very good. Add some more words, and it will be a great written task.
ReplyDeleteOverall, the letter is very well done. The points that were brought across were very interesting, and the opinions you shared were also very interesting. The flow and structure, along with the language used, is very good as well.
ReplyDeleteGenerally you have done a great job in structuring your letter, as well as the use of very highly sophisticated words in your sentences. I would just like to advise you to reduce the amount of highly academic vocabulary in order to avoid confusing the reader with long sentences.
ReplyDeleteI think this is a well written creative piece. The ideas are very well articulated, and your use of advanced vocabulary is relevant due to the fact that the writer of the letter is a DP Lang and Lit teacher. Great job! keep it up.
ReplyDelete